The 2008 Squadron

NEW The Beermountain Team PR department asked each of the 2008 squad to let us know a bit more about themselves. Most of it wasn't printable, but a few choice facts are now revealed, together with a summary of past form.

(you can learn more about our medal & award system here)

                                

  • Name: "The Doctor"
  • Age: 39 (ish)
  • Beermountain Occupation: Keeper of the Hose & 2nd Chef
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: My wife!
  • Best Le Mans "moment": Cigars and beers under the gazebo
  • Favourite cocktail: Pina Colada
  • Favourite food: Italian
  • Current Wheels: Freelander (idolises "Let's Off Road" man from the Fast Show)
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 6
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Squadron Leader
  • Decorations: Order of the BBQ, Arch de Triomphe (with cluster), Houx Star, Technoparc Star, Maison Blanche Star (with cluster)

"The Doctor joins us again now as a veteran of 5 Maison Blanche campaigns. Elected to the Board in 2006 after proving his potential in the classic development role of Chef on two trips. Toad hopes that in his first true executive role, Doctor will demonstrate if he's up to stand for higher office in the future. It would now seem that the CEO is grooming him for greater things - one to watch."

 

  • Name: "Mr Disco"
  • Age: 40 (physically), 9 (mentally)
  • Beermountain Occupation: retired Paddling Pool Safety Officer
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Daphne from Scooby Doo (not the lesbian with glasses)
  • Best Le Mans moment: Flying the thunder box tent as a makeshift kite
  • Favourite cocktail: Long Island Ice Tea
  • Favourite food: Beer - it's got protein hasn't it?
  • Current wheels: Cessna Citation
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 15 consecutive appearances
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Flight Lieutenant
  • Decorations/Awards: Distinguished Firework Cross (DFC), Distinguished Swimming Order (DSO), Purple Bottle (with cluster), Keeper of the Beermountain, Houx Annexe Star (with cluster), Houx Star (with cluster), Technoparc Star, Maison Blanche Star

"Jazzy has specialised in the art of doing as little as possible since the peak of his career as Sanitation Services Manager back on the infamous 1993 trip. Once offered the job of team pilot after getting his licence, he has since been sacked after the team realised that he wasn't able to navigate to the track from the campsite. However, in old age he has become occasionally helpful, even seen leading the charge in the great sewage crisis of 2006.

 

  • Name: ''Buzz''
  • Age: 49
  • Beermountain Occupation: Road Safety Officer
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Keira Knightley
  • Best Le Mans moment: 944 crashing into a tree whilst drag racing (no one hurt...)
  • Cocktail: Beetroot juice with cider apple vinegar
  • Food: My Mum's cottage pie
  • Current Wheels: Z4 and Hi Lux
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 13
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Flight Lieutenant
  • Decorations/Awards: Distinguished Firework Cross (DFC) with cluster, Purple Bottle (with cluster), Distinguished Driver's Medal, Houx Annexe Star (with cluster), Houx Star (with cluster), Technoparc Star, Maison Blanche Star

"Buzz will once again be demonstrating his chilled out style on the campsite, whilst running his business from a phone with just one battery. Never flustered, Buzz is the man Beermountain send in when bad news needs to be imparted e.g. 'I'm very sorry but we're camping in your spot/we seem to have burnt your tent down with that last rocket'. He is now further experienced with local law enforcement practices after a 'misunderstanding' in 2003 - an ideal candidate for the newly created role of Road Safety Officer"

 

  • Name: ''Oddball''
  • Age: Rusticky Three (Ed - what's he on about?)
  • Beermountain Occupation: Vibemeister, under close supervision by the Director of Music
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Jesus
  • Best Le Mans moment: Masturbating to the sound of Dodge Vipers
  • Cocktail: Alcohol, mental sex and marijuana
  • Food: Keira Knightley's knickers
  • Current Wheels: Jensen Healey, 355 Spider, 850 CSI & twat mobile
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: Vintage brace
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Flight Lieutenant
  • Decorations/Awards: Houx Annexe Star (with cluster), Houx Star

"Oddball last joined the team before they went airborne - serving three tours of duty on Houx Annexe and Camping Houx in the 1990's. Perhaps best known for making a dish of marinated chicken jerky in an army tent and leaving it to brew each day, survivors on the 1995 mission recall many trips to the local hospital on their return from that LM tour. Oddball will be learning the basic requirements of a flying officer whilst telling Toad off for his taste in 1970's prog rock music.

  • Name: "Swiss"
  • Age: 38
  • Beermountain Occupation: Commercial Director
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Anyone who knows how to put it up!
  • Best Le Mans moment: Watching Toad "negotiate" the space for our base camp
  • Cocktail: Luke warm lemonade from my thermos flask
  • Food: Meat paste sandwich
  • Current Wheels: DB9 Volante
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 7
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Squadron Leader
  • Decorations/Awards: Technoparc Star, Maison Blanche Star (with cluster)

Toad has fast tracked Swiss into a main board role at a speed that has surprised some. In addition to his overall duties as Commercial Director, Swiss is also understood to be working on Special Projects for the CEO and is overseeing new product development at the Beermountain Burnley "Skunk Works".

 

  • Name: "Mr Toad"
  • Age: 41
  • Beermountain Occupation: Chief Executive Officer
  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Phillipa Forester, before she went a bit saggy
  • Best Le Mans "moment": Seeing Mr Disco ask Tom Christensen to hold his beer at the Driver's parade
  • Favourite cocktail: Cosmopolitan Martini
  • Favourite food: Vietnamese
  • Current Wheels: Merc SL
  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 16 (consecutive appearances)
  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Wing Commander
  • Decorations/Awards: Beer Cross (BC), Distinguished Firework Cross (with cluster), Purple Bottle (with cluster), Houx Annexe Star (with cluster), Houx Star (with cluster), Technoparc Star (with cluster), Maison Blanche Star (with cluster)

"Once again Toad will act as forward planner and overall director of the trip as an increasingly a credible LM media pundit! Back for his 16th successive Le Mans, he’s looking forward to getting down to some serious Champagne drinking with Mr Disco when he's not playing with the electrics of the motorhome in a vain attempt to add even more fairy lights. Toad has handed over the day to day running of UK operations to Swiss and the Doctor in 2005 so he could focus on the overall Beermountain brand and special projects. He aims to retire at the end of his current contract in 2024"

 


  • Name: "Baldrick"

  • Age: Spiritually in his early 20's

  • Beermountain Occupation: Logistics, Security & Chopper support

  • Ideal person to share a tent with: There is no room for anyone else in my sentry box

  • Best Le Mans moment: Building new kit for the squadron and seeing the guys faces when they arrive

  • Favourite cocktail: Havana rum

  • Favourite food: Cuban

  • Current Wheels: Long wheel base transit van with trailer

  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 4

  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Flight Sergeant

  • Decorations/Awards: Maison Blanche Star (with cluster)

"Flight Sergeant Baldrick proved his worth as the right hand man to the CEO and general "Mr Fix It". Based at the Beermountain Skunk Works over the winter, he will be re equipping the squadron supplies for the race as well as developing some new bits of special kit for 2008. Known to enjoy a fine cigar and the occasional bit of sports car racing when he is not flying a Mk II Chopper"...without Balders the squadron would simply not get off the ground.


  • Name: "Fluffy"

  • Age: 44

  • Beermountain Occupation: Official Photographer

  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Mme Fluffy

  • Best Le Mans moment: The bit where Steve McQueen arrives in the black 911

  • Favourite cocktail: Manhattan

  • Favourite food: Anything that doesn't glare at you when you eat it

  • Current Wheels: Porsche 968 (supercharged) & Porsche 964

  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 3

  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - Flight Lieutenant

  • Decorations/Awards: Distinguished Firework Cross

"Mr Fluffy came to the aid of Beermountain in a time of need in 2007 where he successfully flew his first sortie. Whilst his smoke control has something to be desired, he has a quiet air of confidence - should we ever bail out, he wears a Breitling Emergency, which he's ready to use!


  • Name: Celine

  • Age: It's rude to ask!

  • Beermountain Occupation: Beermountain Press Officer

  • Ideal person to share a tent with: Mr Fluffy

  • Best Le Mans moment: Handling the press at last year's drivers parade

  • Favourite cocktail: Chilled rose or a Monaco

  • Favourite food: Steak & frites!

  • Current Wheels: Toyota MR2 roadster - aka The Banana Mobile

  • No. of previous Le Mans outings: 1

  • 1664 Squadron "The Wild Choppers" rank - civilian

  • Decorations/Awards: Honorary Lifetime Beermountain Member (only 5 living recipients!)

 

"Celine has taken on the crucial role of "official French person" where Captain Trousers left off. Mr Toad is relived to hear that his schoolboy French won't be needed (again) this year! Mrs Fluffy is an indispensable member of the team. She is also the first woman in Beermountain history to be in active service with the Squadron.

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