Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 20)

• The sun and moon are in a positive phase for you, so make the most your trip this year. Avoid confrontation - if in doubt retire to your tent with a cold beer. Your finances should be good, so you can afford to drink as many bottles of champagne in the village as you like. Be careful on the N138 on the way home.
• Lucky vegetable: Aubergine
• Ideal tent partner: Audrey Hepburn
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1988
• Lucky campsite: Bleu
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: High
• Best colour car to travel in: Red
• Car to avoid being seen in: anything from Japan
• The right BBQ food: Spicy sausages
• Ideal beer: Kronenbourg
• Top camping tip: Bring extra tent pegs

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)

• Expect to be Mr Popular on the camp site this year. Romance is likely to be in the air! Use your New Moon to trust your judgement if it looks like any of your team are in the wrong, and don't forget - if all else fails - smile! Expect to meet a lovely lady with dark hair and at Jannine's bar who may get pregnant on Saturday night.
• Lucky vegetable: Swede
• Ideal tent partner: Wilma Flintstone
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 2002
• Lucky campsite: Houx Annexe
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: High
• Best colour car to travel in: Silver
• Car to avoid being seen in: Ambulance
• The right BBQ food: Shark from Carrefour
• Ideal beer: Beck's
• Top camping tip: Chill bog roll in the fridge

Pisces (Feb 20-Mar 20)

• Plan well and keep some money in reserve for unexpected expenses. Make sure you look up old friends around more than just your camp site. Watch out for pikeys on Monday morning and try to avoid the big wheel in the funfair.
• Lucky vegetable: Parsnip
• Ideal tent partner: Vicky Butler Henderson
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1984
• Lucky campsite: Maison Blanche
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Low
• Best colour car to travel in: Yellow
• Car to avoid being seen in: MX5
• The right BBQ food: Kebabs
• Ideal beer: Grimbergen
• Top camping tip: Always insulate yourself before turning fairy lights on in the wet

Aries (Mar 21-April 20)

• Venus enters your "zone" for this trip, so it's going to be a good one. Your creative vision and dynamism should allow you to create some new inventions for your team. Make sure you plan ahead. A visit to the Leroy Marlin DIY store might be a good idea.
• Lucky vegetable: Sprout
• Ideal tent partner: Anna Freil
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1978
• Lucky campsite: Basejour
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Stay away!
• Best colour car to travel in: Silver
• Car to avoid being seen in: Porsche Boxter
• The right BBQ food: Horsemeat burger
• Ideal beer: John Smith's
• Top camping tip: No beer before 9am

Taurus (April 21-May 21)

• Don't be too cautious - say hello to all around you. Try not to say all that you think though, and try and set goals. Be careful when you visit the bog block - things could go unexpectedly wrong. Be wary of strangers carrying baguettes.
• Lucky vegetable: Cabbage
• Ideal tent partner: Britney
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1994 or 1997
• Lucky campsite: Houx Annexe
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: High
• Best colour car to travel in: Black
• Car to avoid being seen in: Police car
• The right BBQ food: Bacon sarnie
• Ideal beer: anything cold
• Top camping tip: Eat plenty of roughage

Gemini (May 22-June 21)

• The new moon will change your feelings about the race and you will admit to yourself that you actually go for the beer. Don't force the pace - let other worry about if you remembered to pack the BBQ. With Mercury going backwards, you should avoid the bar on the ferry at all cost.
• Lucky vegetable: Pumpkin
• Ideal tent partner: Denise Van Outen
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 2000
• Lucky campsite: Tetre Rouge
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Medium
• Best colour car to travel in: Silver
• Car to avoid being seen in: Caterham
• The right BBQ food: Stuffed mongoose
• Ideal beer: Watney's Red Barrel
• Top camping tip: Use the toilet at McDonald's before the race, not after

Cancer (June 22-July 23)

• Mercury in your way could stop you being able to communicate with the locals. Make sure you tell your fellow campers that you love them and stay positive. Don't go shopping by yourself, as you are bound to buy horsemeat and fritter the kitty on a paddling pool.
• Lucky vegetable: Courgette
• Ideal tent partner: Betty Boop
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1984
• Lucky campsite: Houx Annexe
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Low
• Best colour car to travel in: Yellow
• Car to avoid being seen in: Anything on your company's car list
• The right BBQ food: Roast Pig
• Ideal beer: Theakston's Best Bitter
• Top camping tip: Obey the paddling pool Safety Officer at all times

Leo (July 24-Aug 23)

• Don't travel too far from the camp site. You may get impatient at times, but don't take shortcuts. Don't make snap decisions without talking to your team first. Eat plenty of roughage and play nicely.
• Lucky vegetable: Potato
• Ideal tent partner: Sam Fox
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1988
• Lucky campsite: Maison Blanche
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Low
• Best colour car to travel in: Blue
• Car to avoid being seen in: Any 911 with coloured wheels
• The right BBQ food: Sheep
• Ideal beer: Kingfisher
• Top camping tip: Bring a spare airbed pump and a puncture repair kit

Virgo (Aug 24-Sep 23)

• Be tactful and discreet as Mars and Mercury are in the background. The new moon means you can enjoy the go karts with impunity - all in front of you will crash and you will almost certainly be victorious. Be careful when lighting the BBQ and avoid fireworks if you don't like French hospital food.
• Lucky vegetable: Yam
• Ideal tent partner: Julianne Moore
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1982
• Lucky campsite: Technoparc
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Low
• Best colour car to travel in: Silver
• Car to avoid being seen in: Campervan
• The right BBQ food: Anything cremated and in a bun
• Ideal beer: Steinlager
• Top camping tip: Baguettes can be made to last longer if dampened with water and put in the oven

Libra (Sep 24-Oct 23)

• Your domestic abilities are high thanks to the moon. Make sure you help keep things in order at your base. Listen to others and enjoy the good atmosphere that's bound to surround you. Stay off the champagne on Saturday and eat lots of burned meat.
• Lucky vegetable: Leek
• Ideal tent partner: Amanda Donohoe
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1990
• Lucky campsite: Houx
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Low
• Best colour car to travel in: Green
• Car to avoid being seen in: TVR
• The right BBQ food: Avoid the BBQ at all cost if you don't like hospital food
• Ideal beer: Foster's
• Top camping tip: Use extra guy ropes on your gazebo - freak winds are common in June

Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)

• It should be an easygoing one - don't worry about arriving too early at the campsite. Don't make any big decisions under the influence of drink. Try and stay awake for Saturday night this year if you don't normally manage it. Avoid listening to any 80's music at all costs. Stay off the funfair rides after meals.
• Lucky vegetable: Broccoli
• Ideal tent partner: Betty Rubble
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 2001
• Lucky campsite: Houx Annexe
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: Medium
• Best colour car to travel in: Red
• Car to avoid being seen in: Anything with 4 seats and an airbag
• The right BBQ food: Pork luncheon meat
• Ideal beer: Peroni
• Top camping tip: Point rockets away from your tent when lighting

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 21)

• You should get some surprising news - perhaps a new campsite? Don't plan too far ahead - things will sort themselves out. Try and shave at least once - you are going to have your photo taken with someone famous. Don't argue with the riot police, even if you think you are in the right!
• Lucky vegetable: Cauliflower
• Ideal tent partner: Demi Moore
• The right vintage wine from Carrefour: 1983
• Lucky campsite: Tetre Rouge
• Chances of coming a cropper on the go karts: High
• Best colour car to travel in: Red
• Car to avoid being seen in: MGB
• The right BBQ food: Antelope
• Ideal beer: Baltika
• Top camping tip: Ignore the early wake up calls on the ferry - they are purely designed to make you buy their hideous breakfast